Self-Esteem, Perfectionism, and Self-Criticism Therapy

Support for adults who feel stuck in harsh self-judgment, self-doubt, or never feeling “good enough.”

Do You Feel Like You’re Hard on Yourself No Matter What You Do?

Many people who seek therapy don’t think of themselves as struggling with “self-esteem” at first. Instead, they notice an inner voice that’s critical, demanding, or never satisfied—one that shows up no matter how much they achieve or how hard they try.

You might recognize yourself in experiences like:

• Constantly second-guessing yourself or your decisions

• Feeling like you’re “not enough,” even when others say you’re doing well

• Harsh self-talk after small mistakes

• Comparing yourself to others and coming up short

• Feeling confident on the outside, but deeply insecure on the inside

Living with ongoing self-criticism can be exhausting and isolating. Therapy can help you understand where this inner voice came from—and how to relate to yourself differently.

Why Self-Criticism Develops

From an attachment-informed perspective, self-criticism often develops early as a way to stay safe, connected, or accepted. If love, approval, or safety felt conditional growing up, learning to be self-monitoring or self-critical may have been a way to adapt.

Over time, this can show up as:

• Feeling responsible for others’ emotions

• Believing you have to perform or “get it right” to be worthy

• Difficulty receiving praise or care

• Fear of disappointing others

• Perfectionism or people-pleasing

These patterns aren’t flaws—they’re learned responses. Therapy helps uncover the emotional roots beneath self-criticism so it no longer runs your inner world.

What Low Self-Esteem Can Feel Like Day to Day

Clients often describe self-esteem struggles with thoughts like:

• “I should be better than this.”

• “Everyone else has it figured out but me.”

• “If I slow down or mess up, I’ll disappoint someone.”

• “I don’t really trust myself.”

Over time, self-criticism can affect relationships, work, decision-making, and your ability to feel at ease or proud of yourself.

How Therapy for Self-Criticism & Self-Esteem Can Help

Self-esteem therapy isn’t about forcing positive thinking or convincing yourself you’re confident. Instead, therapy offers space to gently explore your inner world with curiosity and compassion.

In therapy, we may:

• Explore where your inner critic developed and what it’s protecting

• Notice how self-judgment shows up in relationships and daily life

• Build awareness of emotional needs that were unmet

• Develop a more supportive and grounded relationship with yourself

• Practice responding to mistakes and vulnerability with less shame

Over time, clients often experience more self-trust, emotional steadiness, and relief from constant self-pressure.

Who This Therapy Is For

Therapy for self-criticism and self-esteem may be helpful if you:

• Feel stuck in negative self-talk or shame

• Struggle with confidence despite external success

• Notice perfectionism or fear of failure

• Have difficulty trusting yourself or your emotions

• Want a kinder, more stable relationship with yourself

You don’t need to feel “broken” to begin. Many people come to therapy simply because they’re tired of being so hard on themselves.

Self-Esteem Therapy for Adults in Orange County

I offer individual therapy in Orange County for adults who want to understand self-criticism at a deeper level and build a more compassionate relationship with themselves. Sessions are thoughtful, supportive, and paced to help you feel safe exploring difficult emotions without judgment.

This work often supports not only self-esteem, but also relationships, boundaries, and emotional well-being.

Take the Next Step

If self-criticism or low self-esteem is shaping how you see yourself or move through the world, therapy can help.

Schedule a Consultation
Together, we can explore these patterns and work toward greater self-trust, clarity, and emotional ease.